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Volume XIX, No.1
February 2017
The Purpose of Marriage
(This is an abstract for CCF from a larger work on the topic.)
When I suggest that marriage has a purpose people hear that and react to it in a
number of ways, because the idea of
purpose can mean different things to
people. For example, gay movement advocate E.J. Graff,
What is marriage
for?, defends the right of individuals to make marriage anything at all
that they desire, or need, or choose. For Graff the purpose is entirely
subjective - companionship and pleasure. At the other end of the moral spectrum,
What is Marriage? Man and Woman: A Defense (George, Anderson and Girgis)
speaks of the many essential cultural and societal benefits of the traditional
view; its purpose then is more objective - procreation and the nurturing of
families committed to strong traditional values, leading to a strong moral
society. Many Christians will appreciate the essential cultural and societal
benefits of the traditional (I.e., biblical) view of marriage, but will also add
that “marriage is a picture of Christ and the church.” None of these, however,
really get to the matter of the purpose of marriage. They speak of advantages,
benefits, essentials and doctrinal beliefs, but not of purpose.
Have you heard the architect’s axiom, that “form follows function”? In other
words, the design of a structure must follow from its intended use. I have
coined a parallel: “process follows purpose.” As a marriage counselor, I find
myself dealing a lot with the processes of the marriage, because that’s what
people want help with. Included would be the way they communicate, resolve
conflict, engage in intimacy, parent their children, divide up the house chores
and so on. People will go round and round concerning process, sometimes for years
without making any headway. The reason should be obvious: they are not agreed on
their purpose. To further illustrate, let’s use an analogy of sailing. Think of
purpose as the boat's destination and process as its course and tack. Process
follows purpose. The way things are done, must follow from the reason they are done.
And so the purpose of marriage has to do with an ultimate goal. What is this ultimate goal? A couple came for counseling after being married a very short time. He had changed his career direction, and as a result his income was temporarily down from what it had been when he had proposed marriage and she had accepted. She was now threatening divorce, on the grounds that he had promised to maintain that higher level of income. We began to talk about the purpose of marriage. She knew what it was, she said. She had read a book about it. “The purpose of marriage is to make me a better person. So, if this marriage is no longer making me a better person, why would I not divorce?” Indeed, since process follows purpose. What really is the purpose of marriage; not a purpose or a benefit, but the purpose. Why did God institute marriage?
We find the answer to the question in Genesis chapter one and Genesis chapter two. In Genesis 1:26-27, we read that man was made in the image of God. What is meant by “the image of God”?
Many assume this to introduce the Trinity. They believe that the “image of God” implies body, soul and spirit. There are a number of reasons I believe this is incorrect. The two main reasons are; 1) that interpretation is not supported by the context, and more importantly, 2) another interpretation is supported by the context. It is clear that the plurality of the Godhead is implied. However, the trinity of God, and thus the assumed trinity of the man, is not the point.
This is clarified in the Shema. In Deuteronomy 6:4 we read, “Hear, oh Israel: The Lord our God, the LORD is one.” This word “one” is the Hebrew,
echad, meaning a unity of plurality.
We may assume then that man is created as a unity of plurality. To confirm this, and clarify what it refers to, we should consider Genesis 2:23-24, where we read: “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Again the words "one flesh" are the Hebrew echad - a unity of plurality.
The implication, then seems to be that the unity of plurality is not the trinity of a man, but the union of the man and the woman. This inference is further supported by the broader text of Genesis chapter two. In Genesis 1:26-27, the human is already created as an echad. In chapter two, beginning in verse 18 we read that the human is given the assignment of naming the animals. Curiously, no mate is found for the human amongst the animals. Or, is it so curious? Why should we expect to find the man's mate amongst the lower animals? But if not there, then where?
Moses makes a point of stating in verse 19, that the lower animals had already been formed “out of the ground.” The point being that woman was not formed out of the ground. The woman was taken out of the human, because she was already there. This explains why Genesis 2:24 begins with the word “therefore.”
That is the form of marriage. Now as to its function, consider the unfolding of the whole affair. In Genesis 1:26-27 God creates the humann as echad rather than two separate beings. Then, in Genesis 2:18, scripture points to the fact that this is not good. In other words, this is not the finished product. And it seems it was necessary for God to do it this way in order to drive the point. Then the human is taken apart, and instructed to rejoin; “they two shall be one (echad).”
Why would God do this? It is because, sin was inevitable. And through the conflict of rejoining, becoming one, the fallen nature would be exposed so that it could be dealt with.
Echad is a central theme of scripture. It is seen in the Godhead, the relationship of man and woman, the relationship of Israel and Judah, the New Testament union of the Jew and the gentile, between the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies once the veil was torn, in the union of believers, and of Christ and the church.
In Ephesians 4, Paul speaks of the church growing into Christ as the body is fitted together by that which every joint supplies according to the effectual working of each individual part. A joint is a relationship of two individual parts. In other words, the Lord works salvation in the individual, in order to work unity in relationships, in order to work unity in the Body of Christ, in order to work echad of the Body and Christ.
Thus marriage plays a profound role in God’s eternal purpose.
* Literally not Adam the male. Rather adam the human. No gender is implied in the Hebrew until Eve is taken from the human. It is as if the woman was already part of the human, yet not distinct from the male.
COPYRIGHT©DANIEL PRYOR 2017
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